Out of My Hands

Nine years ago, a single phone call changed the course of my life. A friend told me there was a full time, 40 hour a week job available that he thought I would be good at. And so, I took that job working for the same company several other church friends worked for: First American Title Insurance Company. I also made many new, lasting friends along the way, and learned invaluable life lessons. I went from living by myself, dating dramas and going swing dancing several times a week to settling into married life and even married life with a house and kiddo. It is quite amazing the things that can occur in only 9 years.

Friday morning I received yet another phone call that changed the course of my life. A new manager had decided to let me go. As the breath was sucked from my chest, I tried to make sense of the news. Suddenly, the years and the faces of so many people came flooding into my memory. So much was invested in this company. I invested so much time, energy, emotion, and heart. I grew up so much in the years I worked for them. And just like that, in one short phone conversation (it had to be short, I was hyperventilating), it was over.

As I hung up the phone, I experienced wide variety of emotions. I felt hurt...betrayal...anger...fear...and an overwhelming sense of loss. It was then that I realized that First American had become a part of my identity. In fact, it was the only steady part of my life through the ups and downs and in betweens that I've experienced for the past 9 years. Suddenly, it all changes.

My office is now cleared out, and I am no longer an employee of First American. This is all out of my hands. Yes, I am in mourning over this loss, but I trust that God knows. It is all out of my hands, I an I can think of no more capable hands than those of my Father.